Oh Say Can You See: Best Anniversary Ever

One year ago on September 2, 2007 Katie and Luke joined their lives in marriage. Little did they know the interesting places life would take them...

Our anniversary came at an interesting time: 1. We are in Taiwan (duh) 2. The actual day was during the week (a Tuesday) so any elaborate celebration would have to take place on the weekend 3. The above mentioned weekend ended up being full of interesting surprises. To make a long and rather convoluted story short, this weekend was the annual Moon Festival BBQ at our branch. Normally we would have skipped it and gone to celebrate our anniversary, but our boss repeatedly asked that we postpone or change our plans so that we could attend this event. Wanting to make a good impression and share in some kind of goodwill cultural exchange we agreed to celebrate our anniversary next weekend and to attend the BBQ.

We arrived at 6:00pm ready to talk about Moon Festival, eat some Chinese BBQ and then turn in early after making a good showing to our Chinese co-workers. Had we known what was going to happen, I assure you, we would not have come...

The evening opened innocently enough with a various array of food set out on a table waiting to be BBQ'd. This basically means the foreigners get to play "Name That Meat"...here are some examples:


To be honest the food was actually very good and our hosts went out of their way to make sure everyone had enough to eat. After two hours of cooking, maybe one third of the food had been cooked.

As Katie and I were sitting in the grass with two other English teachers enjoying our meal and thinking about calling it a night, our boss approached us and said, "So we are thinking the 'stage' area will be over there, are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" I replied.

"Ready for your performance of course," she answered as if I knew what was happening.

"Um...," we all said at once.

We were then informed that we were to put on a musical performance for the Chinese staff. This might sound funny, but apparently this was a big deal that we were supposed to be preparing for. Who knew? We have become used to being expected to do things we had no knowledge of but to be honest this was especially awkward.

So with two minutes to plan for an "event" that was to be 20 minutes long, what do 3 Americans and 2 South Africans decide to perform?

We kicked it off with an unaccompanied rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner" followed by the obligatory yelling of "Play ball!" Next came Luke playing a ukulele-sized guitar and the five of us singing "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. We closed the set with a song we do for kindergarten class, "Skitamarinkydinky-dink." There was a smattering of polite applause, but it was our suspicion that we did not meet the expectation. But again...who knew?

From there we immediatly were thrown into a game of "Who can peel a Chinese grapefruit the prettiest?" All the instructions were given in Chinese hastily so naturally Katie and I did the exact opposite of what we were supposed to do--all the while thinking we were winning. Again...who knew?

When the game finished, we felt a bit embarrassed and the idea of leaving for the night was really appealing. However our boss approached us as the peels were being cleaned up and asked us to go inside for a surprise party for one of the staff members. Relieved that the focus of everyone's attention would be off of us finally we smiled and marched inside.

After a few moments we were marched back outside with the group to sing "Happy Birthday" to the staff member. She was then asked to kiss a man next to her (we think they were a couple, but again...who knew for sure?) for ten seconds while everyone took pictures. Katie and I looked at eachother feeling confused at what exactly was happening when suddenly I was pushed very firmly in the back. I stumbled into the middle of the circle of people followed by my very confused wife. Our boss was saying something in Chinese then everyone yelled and I was given a pink piece of paper.

"Happy Anniversary from your staff," it read. I smiled at them and we thanked them for remembering.

Next I was told that they needed to make sure I had enough strength to carry on our marriage (yes...those were the exact words) and after some confused looks I was told to pick up Katie in both arms and kiss her for 20 seconds while everyone took pictures. So Katie's hat was yanked off, she was pushed against me and I picked her up. Hoping to make it quick by following instructions we kissed, embarrassed and laughing, while cameras flashed (some just a few inches from our faces) and then were told that the kiss wasn't good enough because Katie had been laughing almost the whole time. So there I was holding Katie for over a minute now and being told to kiss her again while the staff laughed at our confusion. After a few attempts we finally appeased the masses and I set Katie back on the ground.

Almost immediately the other American teacher approached us and said very seriously, "I am so sorry you guys...um...that was terrible..." We were thoroughly embarrassed after the weird spectacle that was made of us and grateful that someone had pity on us.

We laughed about it and did the best we could to be good sports. Apparently it is a cultural thing to embarrass your friends as much as you can on their big day. Who knew? Overall it wasn't a terrible night (pretty funny, actually), just one I think we both wished were a little more prepared for. We are hoping that this whole event will bring us closer to those we work with so we are doing our best to always be appreciative and laugh at ourselves.